A Legislative Trojan Horse Built from Glitter, Grift, and Gall
Imagine if someone tried to solve a house fire by throwing glitter on it—then charged you for the glitter, blamed you for the fire, and passed a law banning hoses. That’s what this bill feels like.
Officially, it’s titled something like The American Families and Workers Tax Relief Act of 2025, but let’s not pretend it’s about relief. This is the kind of bill that gets pushed with a smile and a waving flag, while its fine print unspools a thousand-page trapdoor beneath your feet.
It’s not a budget. It’s not a plan. It’s a full-blown legislative Kraken—tentacles of tax cuts, deregulation, and culture war nonsense slathered in a syrupy coating of “support for the middle class.” You want to believe it helps people. That’s how it gets you.
So, let’s crack this thing open and see what spills out.
1. The Neutral Pile: Bureaucratic Wallpaper and Procedural Chaff
Some parts of this bill are less “policy” and more “ambient tax code.” They’re the legislative equivalent of background noise—technically functional, spiritually vacant, and strategically useful only as camouflage. Think of them as the confetti glued to the outside of a bomb.
Examples include:
- Sec. 110001 – Extending the tax brackets we already knew were coming.
- Sec. 110002 – More standard deduction. A nice gesture for a flaming economy.
- Sec. 110003 – Quietly erases personal exemptions forever.
- Sec. 110008 – Keeps the mortgage interest cap at $750,000. Good news for people with lake houses.
- Sec. 110014 – Wagering losses: still deductible. You’re welcome, Vegas.
- Sec. 110210 – FSAs and HRAs can now become HSAs. If you know what those are, congrats—you’re in the 1% of Americans with decent healthcare.
- Sec. 111005 – Base erosion minimum tax survives, which is a low bar, but hey.
- Sec. 112208 – Extends tax deadlines for Americans held hostage. Yes, that’s a real clause.
None of these are evil. They’re just… there. And their main function is to bury the rest.
2. The Stupid Column: Performative Nonsense With Zero Strategic Value
These aren’t policy. They’re ideological cosplay—crafted for campaign ads and partisan podcasts, not actual governance.
- Sec. 110104 – Car loan interest is now deductible. That’s not help; that’s garnish.
- Secs. 110115 & 110116 – “MAGA Accounts” for kids under 8. Financial tools? Possibly. Weaponized branding? Definitely.
- Sec. 111106 – Repeals the indoor tanning tax. Priorities, amirite?
- Sec. 112030 – Cuts taxes on silencers. Apparently the problem is loud guns.
- Sec. 112204 – Deploys AI to root out Medicare fraud. What could go wrong with a hallucinating algorithm targeting the elderly?
- Sec. 112211 – Targets contingency fees for tax preparers. Like hunting mosquitoes with a bazooka.
This is the Legislative Coachella of provisions—loud, flashy, and deeply unserious.
3. The Good Parts (Yes, Somehow)
A few provisions rise above the muck. And shockingly, some are genuinely helpful:
- Secs. 110015, 110016, 110017 – Expands and extends ABLE accounts for disabled Americans.
- Sec. 110019 – Ensures forgiven student loans from death/disability aren’t taxed. Praise be.
- Secs. 110101–102 – Makes tips and overtime pay tax-exempt. Finally, something for actual workers.
- Sec. 110106 – Family and medical leave credit becomes permanent and more inclusive.
- Sec. 110112 – Restores charitable deductions for non-itemizers.
- Sec. 110107 – Makes the adoption credit partially refundable.
- Sec. 111102 – Breathes life into rural Opportunity Zones.
These are solid. Useful. Hopeful. But they’re also bait.
4. The Poison Pill: Good Wrapped in Catastrophe
This bill’s worst parts aren’t accidents. They’re blueprinted disasters.
The Sugar-Coated Inequality Bomb
- Secs. 110001–002 – Make Trump-era tax cuts permanent. Guess who wins? (Hint: not you.)
- Secs. 110005–006 – Supercharge pass-through deductions and estate tax breaks. Meet your new landlord dynasty.
Climate Policy? Deleted.
- Subtitle C, Part 1 (Secs. 112001–112015) – Gut every major clean energy incentive.
- Sec. 112009 – Kill the clean electricity investment credit.
- Secs. 112011–013 – Destroy incentives for carbon capture, hydrogen, and nuclear.
Weaponized Xenophobia
- Secs. 112101–106 – Remove tax credits, restrict healthcare, and tax remittances for immigrants. This isn’t oversight. It’s cruelty.
Safety Net in a Shredder
- Sec. 112206 – EITC “reform” = fewer families qualify.
- Sec. 110013 – Moving expense deductions, now military-only.
- Secs. 112202–203 – Traps people in healthcare bureaucracies.
- Sec. 112205 – Claws back pandemic-era credits, because who needs stability?
Corporate Gifts & Petty Vengeance
- Sec. 112017 – Sports team owners keep their amortization perks. Go team!
- Sec. 112028 – Adds a 1% floor to corporate charitable deductions. If a company gives less than 1% of its income, it gets nothing. Because apparently small-scale generosity is now a tax crime.
- Sec. 112029 – Adds vague new powers to retaliate against “unfair” foreign taxes. Real subtle.
Conclusion: A Kraken in a Business Suit
This bill is not policy. It’s performance art from the Ministry of Gaslighting. It smiles while it strangles. It offers you dinner, then sells your liver to pay the tab.
Yes, it includes benefits for families, workers, and disabled Americans.
But to get them, you have to swallow a bomb:
- Tax breaks for the rich
- Climate annihilation
- Hostility toward immigrants
- Weaponized bureaucracy for the poor
This isn’t compromise.
This is legislative entrapment.
This is what happens when bad faith dresses up as economic patriotism.
Reject it. Loudly. Thoroughly.
Don’t let the glitter fool you.
