Watch out.. Dr. Jess is pissed…
Let’s just start with a deep sigh, shall we?
In one of the most pants-on-head moments of recent memory, Robert F. Kennedy Jr.—currently cosplaying as the Secretary of Health and Human Services—decided to publicly showcase his complete misunderstanding of autism. In a recent press conference, he claimed that autistic individuals “will never work, find love, write a poem, play baseball, and many will never use a toilet unassisted” (abcnews.go.com).
Excuse me while I go scream into a neurodivergent-friendly pillow.
This isn’t just bad science—it’s the rhetorical equivalent of trying to tweet from a fax machine. It’s ignorant, harmful, and sounds suspiciously like someone trying to bring back eugenics as a “wellness trend.” You know, like kombucha, except morally reprehensible and about ten years too late to even be edgy.
Kennedy’s approach to health policy feels like it was pulled from a 2007 mommy blog that also sold essential oils and warned about the dangers of microwaving your soup. He’s trying to solve modern public health problems with the spiritual equivalent of a mood ring.
The Reality of Autism
Autism isn’t some apocalyptic plague sent to inconvenience Kennedy’s worldview. It’s a neurodevelopmental difference. Full stop. And it exists on a spectrum so wide and varied that trying to boil it down to toilet habits is not only insulting—it’s scientifically laughable.
If anything, autism is a masterclass in diversity. People on the spectrum have driven innovation, challenged artistic norms, and yes, rewritten the rulebook in everything from math to music to space exploration.
Tarik El-Abour became the first autistic professional baseball player. That’s right—RFK Jr. says “no baseball,” and El-Abour steps up to bat, quite literally, and knocks the entire premise out of the fucking park (theguardian.com).
The Engineers Are Autistic, Bob
Let’s get real: if you removed every person with ASD traits from the engineering workforce, half of our infrastructure would collapse by next Tuesday and the other half would be trying to reboot itself. These folks aren’t “broken” people—they’re the ones keeping your tech running, your bridges upright, and your code from becoming sentient and declaring war.
They are systems thinkers, pattern spotters, and problem solvers. If you’ve ever used GPS, flown in a plane, or not died because a medical device worked correctly—thank someone who probably thinks in grids and appreciates when things make sense.
Kennedy’s vision of the world without autistic people is like trying to write a novel without verbs. It might look pretty on the shelf, but nothing actually happens and no one wants to read it.
Neurodiversity Is Not a Design Flaw
RFK Jr. talks about autism like it’s a software bug. But here’s the thing: neurodivergence isn’t a glitch in the matrix—it’s part of the operating system. It’s the reason your phone works, your favorite movie got made, and someone decided that maybe we should not keep eating lead.
Trying to eliminate autism to “improve” humanity is like trying to filter all the bold colors out of a rainbow. All you’re left with is beige sky sadness and an empty promise of “better.”
His claims aren’t just offensive—they’re as outdated as a rotary phone at a TikTok convention. The science is in, and Kennedy’s still acting like the world is flat. Which is a generous metaphor, honestly. Flat Earthers, at least, have the decency to not run entire departments of public health.
This entire worldview is a square peg trying to squeeze into a round hole of reality. It doesn’t fit, it never has, and jamming it harder just splinters the whole damn board.
In Conclusion (But With Jazz Hands)
Kennedy’s statements aren’t just wrong—they’re dehumanizing, outdated, and dangerously close to policy-level bigotry. And we don’t have time for that kind of regressive nonsense in a world that’s already on fire.
So if you’re still worried about autistic people writing poetry or falling in love, maybe the real disorder isn’t neurological—maybe it’s a complete lack of imagination.
So Bob? Sit the hell down. The rest of us are busy building a future that’s proudly autistic—one that doesn’t have room for your paranoid, flat-earth, kombucha-fueled, 1950s-flavored pseudoscientific side quests. You’re not leading a health department, you’re playing Mad Libs with human dignity. Kindly fuck all the way off—and take your outdated, ableist fantasies with you.
