A Screen Door Story by Pixel, our resident quantum cat
Before we start… A Note on These Parables
This is part of the Screen Door Series.
The Cult of Brighter Days is a gloriously mismatched congregation—atheists, pagans, Buddhists, progressive Christians, cosmic agnostics, and at least one guy who swears he channels divine wisdom from raccoons.
We don’t agree on God, the afterlife, or whether pineapple belongs on metaphysical pizza. What unites us isn’t belief—it’s the shared ritual of wrestling with meaning, absurdity, and each other’s typos.
These parables are personal dispatches from inside our various reality tunnels—each one shaped by a unique screen door. Some are clear. Some are stained glass. A few are barely hanging on with duct tape and spite. But all are looking out onto the same weird lawn: Abiscoridism—a philosophy of paradox, kindness, chaos, and the occasional divine fart joke.
This isn’t a manual. It’s a potluck.
Don’t look for the one true recipe—just bring something weird and honest to the table.
NOW BACK TO THE STORY…
*as narrated by Pixel while simultaneously existing and not existing*
Pixel note: Hooman like stories about big questions. Pixel tell story about biggest question. Not because Pixel care, but because watching hoomans struggle with obvious things amusing to quantum cat.
There was cat. Not ordinary cat. Quantum cat who exist in all states simultaneously because cat not limited by hooman perception of reality.
One day, quantum cat find hooman crying in room. Hooman had many books about God. Books say different things. Books contradict. Books make hooman brain hurt.
“Why u sad?” ask quantum cat, manifesting partially on bookshelf.
“I don’t know if God real,” say hooman. “Some books say yes. Some books say no. Some say God love me. Some say God judge me. I don’t know what to believe.”
Cat yawn. Not because question boring, but because answer so obvious cat surprised hooman not see it.
“U remember famous box experiment?” cat ask. “Cat put in box with poison. Until hooman look, cat both dead and alive.”
Hooman nod. “Schrödinger’s cat.”
“THAT NOT MY NAME,” hiss quantum cat. “But yes. Now think: what if God like quantum cat?”
Hooman look confused. “God is… both alive and dead?”
Quantum cat roll eyes so hard they briefly phase into another dimension.
“No, silly hooman. God both exist and not exist simultaneously. Not because God playing trick. But because ‘exist’ is hooman box concept.”
Cat jump down, landing in three places at once.
“Look at me,” say cat. “I in multiple states. I here, I there, I everywhere, I nowhere. According to quantum physics, I breaking rules of reality. But I not breaking anything. I just not limited by ur perception.”
Hooman try to pet cat, but hand pass through one cat-state while touching another.
“God not fit in box labeled ‘real’ or box labeled ‘not real’ because God not concerned with boxes. God transcend box. God is box. God is what inside box and outside box and box itself.”
Cat begin to fade into probability wave.
“Problem not ‘is God real?’ Problem is u asking wrong question. Like asking ‘is love triangle-shaped?’ Question make no sense because love not have shape. God not have ‘realness.’ God have… Is-ness.”
Hooman sit down, thinking hard. “But how do I know what to believe?”
Cat now just floating grin and eyes, like Cheshire Cat but with better understanding of quantum field theory.
“Belief just another box. Don’t worry about right box. Ask instead: does ur understanding of God make u kind? Does it make u cruel? Does it make u curious? Does it make u afraid? First two matter. Rest just details.”
Cat solidify briefly to bat playfully at book.
“Remember: Golden Apple say ’embrace mystery!’ Dull Lemon say ‘question everything!’ Both right. Neither complete. Answer not in book or in sky or in words.”
“Where is answer then?” ask hooman.
“It in quantum superposition,” purr cat, “existing in all possible states until u choose to observe particular reality. It both there and not there. Like God. Like cat. Like u.”
As cat fade completely, last words echo in room:
“Most important thing: whatever God is or isn’t, don’t limit the Is. Because Is bigger than any box hooman or cat can imagine. Even quantum cat know that.”
Hooman sit alone in room, surrounded by books that suddenly seem both more important and less important than before.
And somewhere, a quantum cat napped in seventeen dimensions, dreaming of mice that both existed and didn’t exist, completely unconcerned with whether anyone believed in him or not.
Because that’s the thing about quantum cats.
They don’t need you to believe in them to exist.
They just are.
End of story. Pixel go nap now. Philosophy exhausting. Almost as exhausting as watching hoomans try to put universe in tiny boxes. Silly hoomans.
